Eight Qualities of a Possible Soulmate

In the description of The Search for a Soulmate,  I discussed the quiet but enduring forms of love.  Bearing in mind that person or persons (be it a parent, a grandparent, a favorite aunt, even a teacher) who has been kind and nurturing to us in our earlier lives, the overcoming of lovelessness has in large measure to do with finding a similar person with whom to bond.  Sometimes it is useful to write down the qualities of the man or woman whom we have admired and drawn strength from.  Here are some characteristics to consider in evaluating the potential of a lover to be a soulmate.

  1. How does a future soulmate treat waiters or waitresses in restaurants?  How about salespeople in stores?  Animals?  Does she show respect for people of lower status?  Is he capable of compassion?
  1. Does she have a sense of humor and can she laugh from the belly and not from the lips?  He should be able to laugh at life, but not at the expense of others.  Can she show genuine joy?
  1. Can he express sorrow? Can she show empathy?  Is he or she capable of shedding a tear?
  1. Can he express a sense of awe or wonder? Can she look at the heavens or a snow-covered mountain and marvel at it?  Can he appreciate the complexities of events?  Can she enjoy a song, an opera, a baseball game?
  1. Does he have interests and passions? Does she engage the world with energy and become excited by a collection of art or sports memorabilia or the raising of flowers or vegetables? Does he have a sense of curiosity that he can convey to others?
  1. Can she or he sometimes not know the answer to questions?  Can he admit to a mistake?  Can he apologize sincerely?
  1. Can he or she exist without you, even though he might miss you?  Does he possess a sense of individual identity?  Is she overly possessive and clinging?
  1. Is he or she able to show spontaneous affection outside of lovemaking?  Hand holding?  Hugging?  Is he or she comforting?
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2 thoughts on “Eight Qualities of a Possible Soulmate

  1. Eric Fine Reply

    This list is very useful but has a preponderance of emotional qualities. What about intellectual qualities, shared interests, educational attainments, plans for a family? Do these count?

    • Dr. John Lion Reply

      Your points are valid ones, and important values when two people unite in a relationship. However, I was writing about the early assessment of a person’s capacity for kindness and consideration. If a man or woman can be compassionate, many other obstacles can be overcome including money and education and child rearing. The bedrock for negotiation rests on good intentions and these intentions can be gleaned from the qualities I outlined in my original post. Thank you for your comments.

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