Love sickness comes about when a man or women finds themselves overwhelmed by a relationship to the extent that they can neither live with the person or live without him or her. The agony of breaking off the relationship and then reuniting is great. Much anxiety exists, with alternating euphoria and despair. Forced separations designed to “see how we really feel about one another” only worsens love sickness. Love sick unions can go on for a long time, even years. During this period, little is achieved in terms of resolution because neither party is able to tolerate sustained intimacy. A man will pick a fight with his lover, or feel wounded by something small the woman says. Tiny insults lead to a rupture with the aggrieved party alleging that “you never really loved me” or “I knew this would happen.” Hurt and angry, the man and wife separate, momentarily relieved from the exhausting nature of the insecurity. There is a distinct absence of comfort and joy, and when I ask a patient or partner to tell me about a period of time when they felt truly at peace with each other, they give me a puzzled look, as if I am asking an absurd question. Comfortable, enduring love? What am I talking about?
I will talk further about what happens in love sickness.
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