Eight Qualities of a Possible Soulmate
In the description of The Search for a Soulmate, I discussed the quiet but enduring forms of love. Bearing in mind that person or persons (be it a parent, a grandparent, …
A Psychiatrist Discusses the Illnesses of Affection
Most people, if they are fortunate, can reflect on an enduring relationship in which they felt accepted and loved. Grandparents often fit into this category as they are removed from the daily caretaking of a child and can lavish more unconditional affection and indulgence. Grand-parental affection is serene in nature. It is not tempestuous or subject to moodiness. It is calm and reassuring and generates within us a feeling of being accepted for who we are. Parents, in contrast, have direct control over our lives and we argue with them and seek independence and struggle to please or distance ourselves from them. Relatives can fit the bill of enduring love. Siblings may convey to us a sense of belonging, though it is my experience that the rivalries often preclude this unity. Sometimes the bond between a pet and its owner exemplifies enduring love. There is no rapture in the matter of enduring love, no excited passion, no eroticism. Enduring love is low keyed. I am obviously talking about the more refined and more mature stages of love. The love I have just described is the baseline standard for affection. Future posts will describe ways of achieving this level of love.